Getting church right?

With so many ways to worship in Australia, so many traditions, so many conflicting views, how can a person feel secure and be assured that their seat in a pew or chair in their chosen place of worship is blessed by God?
How “easy-going” (an Australian term implying tolerance) is God, regarding the way and the place that we worship?
These are troubling questions, which are sometimes better not asked, as attempting to answer them leads to strongly conflicting, yet firmly held views by some, as well as insecurity and anxiety for those of us who hold to them less firmly.
Firmly held views do not guarantee correctness. But carefully thought out theology may aid a sense of security.
Jesus, in his teachings recorded in the four gospel accounts, did upset the religious status quo. The Scribes and Pharisees were clearly at odds with what he taught, yet they could not trap him theologically.
They were secure in their religious understandings but when they could not debate their points successfully they then relied on their pedigree, and contrasted Jesus’ apparent lack of pedigree.
Jesus used the following to authenticate his teachings. 
1 Scripture. Jesus was able to accurately quote passages from the Old Testament to support the truth of his teaching. He also uplifted scripture emphatically stating that not a jot would ever be removed. This, I believe, potentially sets a precedent. He clearly raised the scriptures above certain traditions that nullified God’s word.
2. Signs. Jesus repeatedly stated that his miraculous signs also testified to the reliability of his teachings. But he also ironically criticized the generation of his time for wanting signs and miracles, stating that the only sign they would be given would be the sign of Jonah, implying his resurrection as the seal of his authority.

I mention the above not to call into question the truth of Jesus being the true Messiah and Son of God, the Word of God, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, God the Son. God, but to simply point to the lack of faith at the time of Jesus teaching. 

For us today, we too can easily fall into the religious status quo, relying on our pedigree for security, and potentially missing the possibilty of fellowship with others who are within the family of Christ. 
I believe we do well to remember that Jesus clearly identifies with the least of his disciples. (“Whatever you do to the least of my disciples, you do to me”). Hence, distancing ourselves from certain believers implies that we are missing out on fellowship with Jesus himself. 

My question is, at what point in our Sunday (or other day) services do we divide ourselves within a congregation?

What God has joined let no man separate.

Today I could not attend communion due to the clear (denominationally prescribed) definition of communion made before it was shared. There was the generous offer of a blessing to those who could partake, and I accept this without complaint apart from this reflection that was triggered by it. Communion, even by its less formal name, should by nature unify us as Christians, yet in my personal experience the practice and rules placed around the practice of communion seems to divide us, even strongly at times.

Yes, we should examine ourselves, we must recognise the body of Christ (which I would suggest includes the brethren who surround us), we should wait for each other, we should not belittle or humiliate each other at the communion table, but we should be unified by this most important meal.

Come to me all who are burdened and heavy laden and I will give you rest.