Voting with our Feet

 “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:25)

So much could be said about this topic.

Why are we, even some of the most mature Christian people, sometimes tempted to walk away from church/ fellowship?

Well the simple answer I suppose is that we are hurt. Hurt by others in our Church, and especially by those in leadership. Having not thought about this for very long, I am quickly concluding that no matter what the issue is, we are hurt more by those in authority, and often by their inaction.

Before I say too much more, I’d better clarify that I am speaking from the point of view of one in authority, being an elder in our church, and may I also add that it is painful when I notice that people aren’t coming any more. It does hurt, and it feels personal. No matter what the issue is, it feels like I have personally failed the absent person, and maybe I have.

So one point I do wish to make is that when we do stop going to our fellowship meetings, we do hurt those in authority.

Of course I don’t mean those times when we can’t make it for other reasons, I mean those times when we deliberately have decided to divorce ourselves from the meetings.

Yes, there are many serious events that would lead us to a need to separate from a fellowship. Fortunately, or unfortunately, these days there is usually somewhere else to attend, so that we are still able to worship God with others.

Or we may end our church attendance all together at one of these points, feeling that it is God, ultimately, who has let us down.

In a big church, it might be easier to slip in and out of attendance, seemingly without much effect, but in a small church, our absence can be painfully obvious.

But even as an elder in our church, sometimes the thought goes through my head, why don’t I just leave. It seems so much easier sometimes, than trying to please people, trying not to hurt people, trying to listen to people, trying to love people.

It is so clear to me that I just can’t do it. Only God can.

Of course, Satan has something to do with this. He loves to cause disharmony, pain, and fracturing of fellowship. Especially in God’s household.

The cure of course is forgiveness.

We need forgiveness, and we need to forgive.

We are best able to live in forgiveness when we live in forgiveness.

I know that sounds stupid. But basically, when we most doubt our own forgiveness, is when we are most insecure, sensitive, and less willing to overlook our neighbours faults.

We try and try and try to do things right, so that we don’t need forgiveness. But really, in this striving, we are denying our need for the full atonement of the precious blood, of the Holy Son of the living God.

God has done everything (not holding back at all) to deal with every last bit of evil that flows through our mortal beings, and this is all a wonderful and priceless gift that we treasure. We need it every day, every moment, in every relationship. We live in the forgiveness of the cross, we share the forgiveness of the cross, and we practice the ministry of reconciliation, which God has entrusted to us.

Sometimes reconciliation means acknowledging our failures, talking out our hurts, apologizing, even when we haven't deliberately meant to hurt. Telling someone they have upset you can be hard. But telling someone else can be undermining. Not saying anything and leaving hurt is hardest.

We are God's children. We can eat humble pie. It hurts but it's a "good hurt".

So lets forgive, and not leave our churches.

Should I break your heart?

2 Kings 1:16-17 (NIV)

Because you have done this, you will never leave the bed you are lying on. You will certainly die!” [17] So he died, according to the word of the Lord that Elijah had spoken.

I'm in the privileged position of having to prognose (medical for "prophesy") regarding the future health or otherwise of some of those I care for. It is a privilege and a solemn responsibility, not unlike a prophet of God. 

I am sometimes at a bedside with results and observations in my hands, consulting a hopeful but anxious patient. Often they have had  a sleepness night (or longer) anxiously waiting for my visit with news of results and expected outcomes.

My opinion is valued and powerful. Honesty, faithfulness over many years, love and the hand of God have made my opinion well respected in my current circumstances.

I know that hope can be enlivened or destroyed by my words. Or so it seems. So I am careful and measured in what I say, and I need all of the Spirit of God to aid me in these times. 

Of course I can be wrong in my opinion, but this is not the point of my little discussion.

The question I pose is not necessarily a simple one.

If in my hands is a serious result that suggests there is no hope of recovery, and before me is an individual with every desire to continue living, and eyes full of hope and expectation that what I bring is good news, do I break the persons heart with the truth, taking away their last glimmer of hope and thereby paving the way to an accelerated death, (It is my strong opinion that people die quicker once they give up), or do I play down the implications, giving false hope and possibly delay death for some time, as well as saving myself the trouble of comforting someone in distress and grief, after all, there are always small chances that people will beat the odds. (By the way, doctors are not supposed  to give people firm time predictions in their prognosis)

Of course my answer is to tell the truth, with all it's implications, not holding back. It is best to do this out of love for the person receiving the news and to continue caring for the individual in their remaining illness, with all of my abilities. 

Yes, this will break the heart. 

Or will it?

At the start of my discussion I quoted an example of death pronounced and fulfilled. But this is not always the case, even in 1 Kings.

1 Kings 21:27 (NIV)

[27] When Ahab heard these words, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and fasted. He lay in sackcloth and went around meekly.

The words were Elijah's pronouncement of death upon Ahab from God as a result of the deliberate murder of an innocent person out of greed. The judgement was deserved.

But the result was repentance and, against expectations, God relented in his punishment.

By the way, God knows the difference between repentance and "pretendance". 

When we speak the truth in love, we do not cancel the power of God, the Holy Spirit, able to do immeasurably

more than we can hope for or imagine. In fact sometimes honest bad news closes up a person to all avenues bar God, and sometimes in that situation faith comes alive in the form of deep felt prayer or repentance, and the power of God brings about amazing outcomes. Sometimes miracles, sometimes reconciliation, sometimes assurance of forgiven sin and hope in Christ for heaven.

Our responsibility is to speak the truth in love, trusting our wonderful God with the outcomes in people's precious lives. Also trusting in the inner strength that is undoubtedly present in those we care for, and probably in all humans, as we are God's image.

Breaking bad news is hard. Holding back is harder.

I am weak but He is strong.

"Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you."

This apparently is a quote of St Augustine.

I am aware of the important place this man holds in Church history. I honor his influence and teaching.

I think I can see the point and angle from which he gives this advice.

I strongly disagree with it.

I would rather advise: pray and work knowing that everything depends on God, a God who is just and merciful, a God who loves his enemies, which included us, a God who loves us so much, that he didn’t hold back from giving up his own precious and dearly loved Son, for our sakes, and therefore has no reason to hold back any other good thing from us. A God who is truly unbiased, able to consider every individual in the course of events and history, in order to justly and mercifully bring about his purpose, which is to bring everything under the authority of his Son, Jesus. A God who is never far away from any one of us.

I think we can do a lot of damage when we act as though everything depends on us. Not only do we make bad decisions, unnecessarily offending/hurting people we don’t love, but also we burn out, realising the unending list of painful chores that we are faced with, having to fix the unfixable problems that inevitably raise their heads, every day, not to mention the mess we make through our own self importance.

And unfortunately, we do pray as though everything depended on God. We don’t really believe it, but we pray nicely, as if we did.

It is much better to pray badly, from a true need, knowing we are truly weak, unable to cope with the simplest issues in our own strength, and having exhausted all other resources. God is always present. He is always blessing and providing, though we often attribute our successes to our own strengths/abilities.

It is much better to believe that God can fix things, (which he does, in his way, in his time, in his love and mercy) and work at the tasks we are responsible for (our God-given responsibility), knowing that God gives us all the strength we need, in spite of Satan’s many devices, which God allows him to throw in our direction. And God promises never to push us beyond what we can stand, and always to have a way through our difficulties which he provides), even though this may mean walking through the valley of death (with and in his presence).

I am weak, but you are strong. I can do everything that you ask of me, because you are with me.

Child-likeness

Currently I am on my own, away, on work related travels. I've had time to think and observe. 

I may have good observational skills, or maybe just a good imagination, but I look at peoples faces, and often feel I can interpret their emotions. I hear snippets of conversation as I walk past total strangers. And adding to that, my own behaviours and attitudes, I get the impression that we spend a lot of time complaining, moaning, judging and generally being stressed and unhappy. 

There is an exception; children.
In particular, the under ten year olds.

They seem to make the best of their situation and find joy in the oddest places, yet they aren't embarrassed to express pain or disappointment very publicly, (as well as joy) but this expression seems more honest or wholesome or something (in comparison to us adults).  I also find children very prone to forgiving and forgetting.

What is it we loose as adults???

Security in the eventual good outcome of whatever our current circumstances are?

The ability to switch off the negative emotions and enjoy the moment?

Maybe we can't switch them off when we don't honestly express our pain, instead simply complaining about the person/people whom we blame for our suffering.  By the way, does getting even ever actually heal our pain?

There's something beautifully simple in childhood. Optimism and joy. Excitement at what is just around the next corner. Dreams about our future that we are patient to fulfil. Trust in our parents,. Trust in those in authority. Faith in God. A positive attitude about ourselves and our abilities.

How sad it is when we start doubting all of the above and reinterpret the world around us with a much more negative attitude.  Of course many painful circumstances take their toll on our character, sometimes at a tragically young age.

But Jesus  can and does restore our child-likeness .

You’re Never So Wrong As When You're Right

 I heard this advice from a preacher maybe twenty years ago. It’s not a quote from the bible. But every so often I remember these words and am once again reminded and convinced of their truth.

So I thought I would try to explain the apparent conflict of logic in this statement, and reveal some of the beauty and truth that is contained in these few words.

Sometimes we think we are right, and we may argue the point with someone who disagrees with us, maybe we realize at some point that we are actually wrong, and learn from the experience, and the argument resolves, or maybe we are stubborn and won't admit defeat, but deep down we know we are, or might be, wrong, so, at the very least, there is some prick of conscience to hold us back from total annihilation of our opponent for the sake of it. This is not what the statement is about.

Very occasionally we know beyond doubt that we are right. Whether it is because we have studied the matter in question at great depth or maybe we have first hand knowledge of details that our opponent is not privy to. The issue might be a moral one. It may be a point of theology. It may be unrelated to anything to do with God, but the important point is that we are certain of our correctness, not a single doubt, we have seen the evidence ourselves, we might even be the authors of the book in question.

The problem is how we handle being right beyond doubt.

We are never so wrong as when we are right.

This statement implies, and it is also my personal experience, that we will go further than is morally necessary to stand up for the truth, even a small point of truth.

In other words, when I am unquestionably right, and I am being questioned, that is when I will battle most fiercely, most unmercifully, most unlovingly, most viciously, most ruthlessly, most recklessly. It’s as though all controlling factors are set aside, and there is no holding back. The problem is that our pride takes over, especially when we are right, and that we do the most ungodly things when we are actually on higher moral/legal/spiritual ground. Sadly, this is terrible.

 We ridicule people, we embarrass them, we belittle them. We show our ugliest side when we are right.

We are so painfully used to being wrong (our fallen nature, our sinfulness, satan’s accusations always at us), that when we are right, rather than show patience and forbearance to our opponents, we let them have it, fully, with both fists. We are left spiritually and morally worse off than if we had simply been wrong in the first place.

God is not like this. God is patient with our wrongness. When Jesus was slapped in the face for speaking the truth, he did not call down legions of angels to defend him, he simply asked why he was slapped, and to point out what he had said wrong.

I suspect war is about being right. Certainly any personal wars that I have fought have this factor involved.

We could simply live patiently with being right and pray that the person in error would have their eyes opened.

When Jesus was crucified, he prayed, “Father forgive them because they don’t know what they’re doing”.

            As Christians, in our personal lives, it is good to honour this prayer, which led to our forgiveness, and to ask God to continue the great flood of grace that was poured out then.

            This is why we love and forgive our enemies. They don’t know what they are doing, even if they look like they do.

By the way, we are sometimes wrong…

Bad Report

One of my children recently brought home a mid-year report. It was bad.

At least 4 different subject teachers suggested he was easily distracted, talked too much in class, and was not performing to potential.

I was given the report a day after it arrived. It caused a major argument between my wife and I (the subject of the report was away at a friends house at the time). I sat down and made big scrawling red marks over all the bad comments, circling them, and summarizing them at the bottom of the page.

It seemed to help me cope with the disappointment and anger I felt.

Still I had to ring him, and express my disappointment over the telephone. I know he was in tears at the other end. I started to feel bad about my anger.

He received an appropriate penalty, i.e. loss of technology rights for a month.

Why is a bad report so confronting?

My spouse prefers to lay blame on teachers, I prefer to lay blame on the child, but had plenty of blame to lay on my spouse about not passing the report on sooner. The blame game was flowing. And we are a Christian family.

It made me think today about Eden. How Adam blamed Eve then Eve blamed the serpent. They all were punished. We still feel that failure. Not to mention all our own failures. Every bad report is a subconscious reminder of our own bad report, our own failures, not living up to what we were created to be, the extremely large volume of terrible thoughts and actions that Satan has tucked away somewhere to bring out on judgement day, to show that we belong to him and not to God.

The unbelievable, amazing thing is that, when Satan opens that book, each page will be pristine white and blank, then, when he closes it to check again the title on the cover, instead of my name he will read the name “Jesus”.  Because Jesus led a perfect life and gave it to me. As far as my volume was concerned, it got sucked into the irresistible gravitational pull of the black hole that was present in the cross, when Jesus gave up his life for me.

We know our sins are forgiven, yet we often live as though they are ours to atone for.

Jesus is Lord. He has done it. Amen.

Shout It Out

verse 1

Once we were lost

not even a shred of hope,

True joy couldn't live in our hearts,

All our failures and hurts weighed us down.

Then Jesus came

and he spoke to us peace from God,

He took all our sin and our shame

and he cancelled it all by his blood!

chorus

Shout it out, shout it out,

we're so excited,

all our wrongs have been wiped out,

the Lord has done it!

We're forgiven,

We've been made holy,

Jesus Christ has set us free.

verse 2

Now we've been found,

There's a new joy within our hearts,

though we fall we have grace to rise up,

and the strong arm of God to sustain;

double chorus

the Lord has set us free

O-o-o-o

shout it out, shout it out

all our wrongs have been wiped out

We're forgiven,

We've been made holy,

Jesus Christ has set us free.

The Lord has set us free.

Love Your Enemies

I heard a sermon recently during which the speaker shared how hard it was for them to love people who are unloveable. They had experienced loved ones being targeted and harmed repeatedly.

I was reading today in Matthew when Jesus says, “Love your enemies”.

This is a hard teaching. It is much easier to be angry with those who hurt you. It is easier, in the heat of the dispute, to fight back. And later on, when you are smouldering over the events that have transpired, it is much easier to plan revenge than to forgive.

And what happens when the problem continues. You forgive once, twice, but still the problem recurs. The painful event repeats itself, the hurt re-inflames. There must be a limit, somewhere to draw the line?

Worldly wisdom says things must change, that we must take control of a situation, stand up to our bullies, leave the abusive partner, take legal action, refuse service, move away, resign the job, go to court, stand up for what is right, fight for your share, fight fire with fire, etc.

There is some wisdom in these decisions, and I must admit to counselling people to leave a situation rather than plot to harm or even kill someone who is continually hurting you, even in a marriage. Better to leave than to kill; harm minimization makes some sense to me.

Jesus answered Peter’s direct question, how many times must I forgive my brother in one day if he sins against me? 7 times?

The answer was seventy seven, or seventy times seven, or infinity really.

In other words, people who love Jesus must be always forgiving those who sin against them.

We do not have this innate ability.

Yet we can pray for the Holy Spirit to give us power to do the things God wants us to do. And that prayer will be answered.

God loves the un-love-able.

That’s us, just ask anyone who hates you.

If we believe in a forgiving God, we must also forgive. Not that our unforgiveness nullifies God’s forgiveness, we can’t undo God’s work (though it might feel like it), but we can resist him, and swim against the strong, strong tide of his love. Better to go with it though, and forgive. When we forgive each other we are participating in the great work of the cross, giving witness to the powerful blood of Jesus.

Do you believe that your sins are forgiven?

Lets love our enemies.